Day 8: This Chicken Looks Like Bugs. But It’s Not Bugs.

Look at that fucking thing on the left. It's like a giant cockroach! And there's an alien sloth fetus, too.

Look at that fucking thing on the left. It’s like a giant cockroach! And there’s an alien sloth fetus, too.

Tonight I made chicken in an attempt to copy something my sister in law, the chef, did once.

She had these amazing little skewers with chicken on them, and they were rich but not overwhelming and I dipped them in hummus and it was heaven. So I texted and asked her what she marinated them in – she said soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and cilantro. Then sear them in coconut oil and you can dip them in peanut sauce or hummus.

Well, I hate cilantro. HATE IT. And I’m not a fan of ginger. Had she really put all that in? Hers were so good. Maybe if I get a specific recipe I’ll follow it to a tee….

So I tried it. But I marinated it in garlic and gluten-free tamari and then cooked in coconut oil. I’m like a petulant little kid who stomps her foot and says, “I’ll do it myself!” and then makes a fuckery out of everything.

This time, though, they turned out really yummy, but not like hers. The big weird thing about them is how much the tenders looked like bugs and creepy James Cameron-style aliens.

Regardless, the kids ate them with edamame and rice. So that’s good. I had a salad with mine, a little rice, LOTS of hummus. I’ve saved some for Ivan, who is working really late tonight shooting a late night talk show.

Here’s a photo of the bug-chicken on the kids’ recycled milk carton cafeteria plates, which is one of their favorite things because they hate when foods touch each other. They also ate strawberries (are you catching a trend yet with my kids and strawberries?) and drank milk. BECAUSE WE ARE AMERICANS and Americans drink cow boob milk.

double the rice, double the fun. Also, for the record, never let a kid pour his own soy sauce. Major heavy pourers.

double the rice, double the fun. Also, for the record, never let a kid pour his own soy sauce. Major heavy pourers.

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