January 18: Porchetta That Fucking Wins Dinner, BOOM.

Pork wrapped around pork. It's a pork Turducken. It's a Moreporken.

Pork wrapped around pork. It’s a pork Turducken. It’s a Moreporken.

Put down your forks, because I totally fucking won dinner tonight. I do not care that it was not a contest, I still win. And I won right after the Seahawks won, so there was a lot of winning in this town tonight. But only my win was delicious. The skin was sooooooo perfectly crunchy, melt in your mouth salty that if Richard Sherman himself had come in and asked for a pice of my skin, I’d say “NO WAY.” (I’d definitely try to get him to take a bite of my real skin, which would be totally awkward, seeing as I was eating dinner with my husband, his mothers, my ex husband, our daughter and my dad.)

It was sooooo good. What is Porchetta, you ask? It is simply a skin-on Pork Belly wrapped around a Pork Tenderloin, stuffed with something. It’s like a Turducken, of just pork. It’s a Moreporken.

I stuffed mine with a Parsley & Walnut Pesto, and Sundried Tomatoes.

Pesto:
2 big bunches of parsley
A head of garlic
A handful of walnuts
Salt / Pepper / Olive Oil

Put it all in a food processor until it turns into pesto.

Beat the hell out of the pork belly, especially the skin side. Then score the living daylights out of it. You need a way for the fat to melt out. The scoring also makes it easier to slice when it’s done. Then, take the point sharp and stab it as if it were a giant man-eating slug that were threatening to eat your children and you finally wrangled it off the baby and have a lot of adrenaline to work out in the form of puncture wounds. Now salt it. Not to kill it, but to make it delicious.

Flip it over, beat the fleshy part a little. Salt it. Cover it in Pesto and then make a layer of sundried tomatoes. Put the Tenderloin down the center and wrap the Belly around it. Like it just swallowed the Tenderloin whole. Tie it with twine and tuck in anything that’s falling out.

As weird as it sounds, leave it uncovered in the fridge for a couple days. Really.

You want to serve Porchetta with tart flavors, to balance out the delicious delicious fat.

You want to serve Porchetta with tart flavors, to balance out the delicious delicious fat.

About 3 hours before dinner time, preheat the oven to 500. Put it in, for 20 minutes. Then turn it over and cook the underside for 20 minutes. After that, turn it back over and reduce the heat to 300 and cook until a meat thermometer hits 145 degrees. (Took mine about 1 hour + 45 minutes.)

So so so so so so good.

I served it with garlicky yams, and a kale salad that had apples, red onions and walnuts (you want flavors to cut through the fat of the pork belly.)

So, yup, totally won dinner tonight.

Or, as Marshawn would say, “yeah.”

 

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