Un-cake Recipe

  1. Throw away box of cake mix.

2. Open icing.

3. Enjoy.

The eating habits of a Western Domesticated Shit-for-Brains

Quesadillas, pasta, salad … but not in that order

I guess I’m out of the running for the “Perfect Attendance” award in this 365 Dinner Project, but let me tell you about some of the meals of the last week or so.

My wife (who I’ve dubbed “Sutton” for these updates, after my crush on a Broadway performer of the same name) started doing something about a month ago that has done wonders for my stress around dinnertime. She started mapping out a week’s worth of dinners at a time, so it’s kind of like looking at the kids’ school lunch menu. Spaghetti and Meatballs on Monday, Taco Tuesday (Everything is Awesome!)

Feeling mighty lo

Jan. 13 – Chicken lo mein skillet meal from Schwan’s.

Jan 14 – A piece of garlic toast. (Not pictured.)

Skillet meals are magic. You pour one bag’s contents into a skillet or pan, stir it a few times with your magic wand (cooking spoon), and it’s transformed into a meal with multiple ingredients that looks like you did something. I’m still mystified by how the noodles

Sausage + Pancake = SexyTimes!

Sausages like to be wrapped up hot and cozy.

Jan. 13 – Breakfast of hot sausages dipped in yummy pancake batter and baked to perfection.

Last night we had boring chicken from Schwan’s that didn’t inspire a single thought worth writing about, but breakfast this morning was better. I was heating up some “pigs in blankets” (also from Schwan’s) for myself after returning home from taking the girls to school when Sutton came into the room. When I’d left, she was still dressed in her getting-the-kids-ready robe, but now she was dressed for work and looking very nice.

“You look very pretty today.”

She looked very pleased at the compliment and came over to give me a kiss. After the kiss, she laughed and said, “Quickie?”

I laughed back and said, “Definitely, if you’re not joking.”

I think she was joking at first, but I could see her thinking it over for a couple seconds after my reply. In those seconds, her eyes went from thanks-for-the-compliment to take-me-now. “Sure, let’s go.” And so we did.

A little while later, she was off to work and I sat down to eat my pigs in blankets and started brainstorming ways to make them sound risqué for blogging purposes. Bow chicka yum yum!

Stick this in your eyes and see if they feast

 

Jan. 11 – “Cheesy Quik Taters” from Schwan’s around 9pm. (Dipped in ranch.)

In retrospect, it would have been amusing to arrange the taters into a word or something for the picture, but I was too hungry and tired to think of that at the time. I ate late and alone because I had a 6pm hockey game (we won in a shootout),

Pollo con whatever the Spanish word for ‘dumplings’ is

Jan. 10 – Crockpot chicken and dumplings

My wife’s streak of awesomeness continued tonight with crockpot chicken and dumplings. It was a family meal, sort of. One daughter threw a tantrum when we wouldn’t let her switch from the prepared meal (which she had tasted and liked) to leftover pizza. That led to some enforced room time until she was ready to stop screaming,

Another sacred meal (by Flying Spaghetti Monster standards)

 

Jan. 9 – Kung pao spaghetti take-out from California Pizza kitchen

In a recent post I mentioned that I’m not the type of person who likes to get something different every time from the restaurants I go to.  I usually settle in on one or two favorite meals per restaurant and only occasionally vary from those. At California Pizza Kitchen, my most frequent selection is the kung pao spaghetti. It’s spaghetti in some kind of spicy sauce,

Wait– there was garlic bread?

 

Jan 8 (Elvis’s birthday) – Spaghetti and meatballs, eaten with the whole family.

I’m on a lucky roll. This was the third consecutive night of dinner featuring my two favorite ingredients – not cooking, and not choosing. Although the picture may look like some inedible ingredients leftover from Justin Cascio’s Venison sausage stuffed venison backstrap roast, it was yummier than it looks. I’m quickly discovering that the yummy food in pictures is analogous to professional models

2 secret ingredients that make any meal better

Jan. 7 – Hot dogs, french fries, caesar salad, fruit. Whole family, around 5:30pm.

There’s not a lot to say about this meal, except that I loved it because I didn’t have to make it or help decide what to have. Those are two of my favorite ingredients in a meal.¹ I’ll note that caesar salad is my favorite salad. Most salads get wrecked by having something stupid in them like carrots or radishes or chickpeas or red lettuce or nuts or sprouts

Taco Tuesday! (Just like in Bricksburg)

 

Jan. 6 – Ground beef tacos, on a Tuesday, just like in Bricksburg.

I didn’t think to take a picture of the food before being served and eaten, so this time it’s a picture of the family table near the end of dinner. My wife prepared everything, which mean browning the meat, adding taco seasoning from a bag or jar (I’m not sure which this time) and prepping the fixins and sides. You can see a little